Archive for the ‘linkspam’ Category

Moms

Thursday, May 17th, 2007

Samincittagazee asked for some more links about mothers in the workplace, though.

Professor Mama - Bitch PhD talks about many of the things did in her comment.

I also want to point out that most of the discussion, especially by academics, is presuming that people with kids are married. This isn’t always the case. Even if you wanted to be a hard-line asshole and say that anyone with children who divorces deserves to be punished by not being able to hold a job (because, you know, why should the workplace accomodate people’s choices?), do you really want to say that if someone’s partner drops dead? Not to mention that it is totally fuzzy thinking to conflate the issue of children with the issue of relationships–though obviously they often overlap, for lots of reasons. Being part of a couple does make it easier to parent, assuming your partner isn’t a complete asshole; even in couples, women with demanding jobs often end up pulling more than their fair share of parenting hours, because it’s a lot harder for men to ask for time”off”; because we’ve all–including the kids, which is important to note–internalized the “mama first” bullshit; because a commuter marriage is a lot harder to have when there are kids involved; and of course because “relationships” includes relationships with one’s kids.

People are not brains on sticks. People have lives. Whether it’s partners, parents, kids, pets, buddies, whatever, we all need time to get the hell out of the office. Yes, culturally, we say “kids come first” (though “family” parking spots notwithstanding, that is largely lip service–it’s nice to lessen the chance that my kid’s going to get hit by a car in a lot if he tears himself out of my hand while I’m carrying shopping bags, but it doesn’t really make up for the fact that the big-ass grocery store is a shopping environment designed to try kids’ patience so that inevitably they’re going to tantrum or run off before you get all the way through the store, and then everyone will glare at you for being such a “bad parent”).

Sorry, is our struggle stifling your productivity? - I really really really cannot recommend this link enough.

I’m not a parent. I do not play one on t.v. I have no desire to be a parent, so I have no concept of the realities of being a “working” mom (because, you know, stay-at-home moms don’t work *eyeroll* <-- this is sarcasm). Blue Milk puts it all into perspective, by comparing her "get out the door to work and then get back home" checklist to that of her husband.

  • Find ticket and swim against stream to get through the one ticket gate that is large enough to fit a stroller through it.
  • Walk 15 minutes to the daycare.
  • Sign Anais in, fold up stroller and put it away.
  • Put daycare bag away in her pigeon hole, get a tissue to wipe her tears.
  • Settle Anais in, try and get her calm enough to stop crying, greet the carers.
  • Leave and walk 15 mins to work wondering why I have to start my day in heartache and he is oblivious.
  • Come in, sit down at my desk, feel hungry and wish I’d had breakfast, wish I could get to work earlier, feel exhausted, listen to inane jokes about my ‘long weekend’ (gentlemen, its not a long weekend if you don’t get paid for it and you don’t get to rest during it).
  • The whole thing makes me hurt just to read.

    Work killing the family, report says

    Research has found a strong link between long and unpredictable work hours and the breakdown of family and other relationships.
    Australia is the only high-income country in the world that combines very long average working hours with a high level of work at unsocial times - during weeknights and weekends - and a significant proportion of casual employment.
    These work patterns are making employees unhealthy,putting relationships under extreme stress, creating angry,inconsistent parents, and reducing the well-being of children, says the report by Relationships Forum Australia, titled An unexpected tragedy.

    Working moms, stay-at-home moms, the so-called “mommy wars”, are not as simple as the media keeps trying to make them out to be. I have a lot of thoughts on that.

    [See comments to this post on LJ]

    Carnivals

    Wednesday, May 9th, 2007

    First People of Colour SF Carnival
    Hosted by Seeking Avalon on June 15th
    Submission Guidelines
    Submission Form
    Contact Willow if you would like to host.
    Its brand new, so link everywhere!

    For those of you who don’t know what a Blog Carnival is:

    A Blog Carnival is a particular kind of blog community. There are many kinds of blogs, and they contain articles on many kinds of topics. Blog Carnivals typically collect together links pointing to blog articles on a particular topic. A Blog Carnival is like a magazine. It has a title,a topic, editors, contributors, and an audience. Editions of the carnival typically come out on a regular basis (e.g. every monday, or on the first of the month). Each edition is a special blog article that consists of links to all the contributions that have been submitted,often with the editors opinions or remarks.

    (And as long as I’m here, the 14th Feminist SF/F Carnival will be on May 30th and the next Carnival of Feminists is on May 16.)

    Linkspam

    Wednesday, April 25th, 2007

    I’m about to head out of town for the next four days (I know, my loyal readership of three will miss me), but I wanted to do a bit of a linkspam post before I go away. I often put these in my LJ, so this is a combination of several of them over the past several weeks.

    Do y’all remember that latest “Rape Jokes are Funny” post I did a few weeks ago? (And how sad is it that I have two posts about entirely different “rape jokes are funny” incidents? If I get a third, do I get a free bad student newspaper?) If you’re curious here’s a bit of a follow-up

    From Ian Van Den Hurk, Editor-in-Chief:

    “I wish to formally apologize for hurting Western students, the University Students’ Council, The University of Western Ontario and members of the greater community… While the issue was not written with malicious intent toward any individuals or groups, nor the reputations of either the University of Western Ontario or the University Student’s Council,I fully understand and recognize the pain it has caused. I am truly sorry.”

    The post I linked to talks about a Town Hall meeting about the whole thing, and is an interesting read. To quote:

    I watched him [University Administrator Paul Davenport], in his speeches and speaking to him afterwards as well, really struggle for the “right” language to talk about these issues, and he clearly just doesn’t have it. Again, he doesn’t get it,but he’s also not, it’s clear, had the education or exposure necessary for him to really understand where everyone is coming from on this one.He hasn’t had that “ah ha!” moment where it clicks and he gets it, and he hasn’t had clearly any kind of education in issues that would allow him to speak with any intelligence, let alone authority on it.

    Which, I might add, is no one’s fault but his own. It’s not our responsibility to educate him, it’s his responsibility to listen and to learn. Which is why his responses “we can do this but we need your help” (of course you need our help, you don’t understand, but you need our help to help you understand, and then you’re the one who has to take responsibility and action… but who exactly is “your” [in “your help”] in that sentence anyway? women? faculty? students?) … and “men must be front and centre on this issue” (what? I think he’s trying to say that men can’t think that this is only a women’s issue, which of course it ISN’T, but to say that men need to be front and centre on this, while so many dedicated women have been organizing and mobilizing around this for the last week, just wanting the big powerful men like Dr. D to listen to us, not to tell us what to do - is just insulting).It was also clearly a linguistic failure (rooted in an ideological failure) when he said he was glad to see so many groups “working for the weaker people of our society,” which (not surprisingly) attracted around of boos. His choice of the word “weaker” there, so clearly echoing “the weaker sex” was just so wrong.

    [I think I’m going to end up coming back to that post in the future for a few other interesting quotes from it, mostly because I’ve recently been in conversation with a male friend of mine who is having trouble with the “getting it” aspect of how different life is for men and women - the sudden shock he experienced when he was confronted with the fact that most rapes are committed against women by men they know, rather than by strangers. I’m paraphrasing his reaction, here, but it took me a while to figure out that his reaction wasn’t doubt that women are usually raped by men they know, but that he had never really had to internalise that idea. I really want to talk about that, because I think it’s important, but I’m still working on expressing it well.]

    A few links around or via LJ-land to share:

    Am I Bitter or Am I Property?

    I’m talking about girlfriends dying. Not side-kicks, not people who know the risks in a real and gritty way, but girlfriends.Girlfriends that are somehow easily replaceable because they’re not a family member or team member and who seem to come with the ready made excuse that either they weren’t the main characters true love or worse that they were.

    It’s like those stories about a boy and his dog. One dog dies but it’s more than possible that if the right smart, caring dog came along, the boy’s heart will be healed and all will be well until the next time we want to pluck said boy’s heartstrings.

    It’s something interesting to read after the post I linked to last week about the “You Touched My Stuff” aspect of so many “revenge” movies out there. Willow’s talking specifically about comic books in this case, but I can think of similar attitudes in books and on t.v. - that someone is really just there to be The Girlfriend That Is In Peril to goad the hero into doing the right thing.

    Yay for Finland. Again.

    To completely change the subject once again, yet another bit of political news from Finland that might interest (and cheer up) some people on my f-list: The names of the ministers in the new government were revealed the other day and history was again made in when of the twenty ministers twelve were women.

    Is Finland part of the EU? Can I move there? Can I speak English and live there? Cuz that’s just cool. {More details on what that means in the broader picture in the link.}

    From the files of WTF:

    I’m been bouncing this post around in my head today about the temptation to infantilize victims of oppression and the kind of bad shit that plays into, but man, I just didn’t have a hook, other that the llama drama of a few days ago. [snip]

    But their also survivors. My co-workers only meet these women on the worksites. That means that they doing hard physical labor,volunteering, to make a better future for the little girls in their hometowns. They aren’t broken shells of people, waiting for well-meaning white folks to swoop in and destroy the sex industry.They, like many exploited women in the sex industry, and like so many oppressed people around the world, are fighters. They need allies from those of us who benefit from so much suffering.

    A relatively short post, but lots to think about in it.

    I haven’t really examined my own attitudes about women who are trafficked into sex work around the world. I tend to just think of it in terms of “this is a tragedy that needs to stop”, without thinking about the women in question much beyond that. Which is really not much better, I suppose. The post has made me think about that more, and I’m assured that thinking is no bad thing.

    I can’t quite remember where this one hit my radar from:

    Blogging Against Disablism Day, May 1st 2007Blog Against Disablism Day

    On Tuesday, May 1st - or as near to as you are able - post something on the subject of Disabilism, Ableism or Disability Discrimination (see Language Amnesty).You can write on any subject, specific or general, personal, social or political, anything which states an objection to the differential treatment of disabled people.

    “Disabled” does include the mentally ill, for those of you who want to participate.

    {More behind the cut}

    (more…)

    Carnival Time!

    Saturday, April 14th, 2007

    Just as an aside, the 36th Carnival of Feminists will be over at Fetch Me My Axe this time.

    [Quick definition: Carnival of Feminists is held every two weeks. Host blogs post links and commentary to many different posts across the blogosphere about various topics. Usually the person hosting has a theme and asks people to write about said theme, but will often post posts that are not part of the theme. You can nominate your own writing, or that of someone else.]

    The theme, or a theme: (write the feem tune, sing the feem tune…)

    Relationships between women. Including, but not limited to: erotic and/or romantic relations, friends (”Chloe liked Olivia”), enemies, sisters (blood or otherwise), mother-daughter, grandmother-granddaughter, co-workers,co-activists, classmates, flatmates, boss-employee, domme-sub…

    This is definitely one of those “personal is political” topics, but don’t feel limited to personal anecdotes: analyses of cultural trends or particular historical periods, book or film reviews, and so on, are also welcome. Also consider explorations of the mythic: Kali Ma, Gaia,other mother goddesses; relationship with any female deity or feminine aspect of the Divine, and so on.

    Also welcome/encouraged:explorations of “double (or more) jeopardy” (i.e. sexism in combination with racism, homophobia, ageism, class, and so on); perspectives from outside the US/UK (and to a lesser extent, Canada and Australia).

    Or, as usual, write and/or nominate an entry on any other timely feminist-related theme.

    If you write something that you think qualifies and for some reason you’re too embarrassed to point it out to belledame, drop me an email or a comment and I’ll bring it to her attention. I know it can be very intimidating to point out your own writing to someone you don’t know.