On the “rules for being female” front, the conversation I most hate (though this kind of contradicts thinking what Betacandy said was hilarious, but I know she was being tongue-in-cheek) is the one that says that it’s only okay for me to break those rules because I’m young and relatively attractive (I skip the hair straightening thing, because in my case it’s a lost cause, but I make it work). The dialogue goes that I’ll change my mind about make-up when I start to get all wrinkly and whatever. I hate the assumption that I’m okay (pseudo-intellectual bitch that I am) making a point about opting out of the time, energy, money and comfort required to sustain beauty standards only if it comes at no actual personal cost.

Also, there’s something that seriously squicks me out about a customer making note of your heels. I’m sorry if this adds “ew” to your offense, but it’s like there’s a layer of it being not just presumptuous, but also reminding me that when you’re talking about geeky techy stuff, he’s getting a certain image of you in his head, and much of it has nothing to do with the content of your conversation. It seems like a slight, subtle version of “So…what are you wearing?”

Which…ick.

That’s about the size of it, yeah. Now if only we could get that through to people, and make them understand that this isn’t just some High-Brow Feminist Theory™, that this actually really fucks up real people. And while I’m wishing, I’d like a pony. :/

I did think something was wrong with me, and I thought it came from my abusive father. But after I got away from him and had time to really sort myself out, I still didn’t like pink, and only then did I realize, “Oh, wait - everyone’s full of shit. Again.”

I mean that jokingly, but also kind of seriously — I’ve had a lot of gender issues in past (non-related to the genderqueerness) because I’d internalised so much of the “Women are X, Y, Z, men are A, B, C,” and I fell/fall on the male side of that so often.