Feminists Don’t Bake Bread

A few months ago someone took me off his flist, and one of the reasons he gave me for doing so was that I had become “humourless”. I found this charge a bit odd - I mean, I still find exactly the same kind of lame humour I found funny last year funny this year, I still celebrate with glee Talk Like A Pirate Day and Sneak Like A Ninja Day. I still giggle when I read The Wotch. What the hell?

Oh. Maybe it’s that I don’t find this funny. Not even on April Fool’s Day.

Katie Conservative, another WIN member, said the march also aims to reclaim nighties from cross-dressing men who have bogarted white,crocheted, old-fashioned nighties for far too long.
“My vagina told me that for too long, men have taken things that are rightfully ours,”Conservative said. “Tonight we take back nighties just like we took back hairy armpits and stilettos, even though trannies are still trying to steal them too.”
Near the end of the march, chaos broke out when Ostrich’s vagina crawled from under flowing white nightie, stole a loudspeaker and went on a rampage.
“How dare you act like you know what I have to say,” the vagina screamed down Richmond Row.
“You don’t know me, bee-otch,” it squealed. “You can’t even see me through all this hair you’ve let over-grow. Think of me. I can’t even breathe down here!”
Upon seeing the chaos, London Police Chief Murray Faulkner stopped greasing his nightstick and intervened.
He grabbed the loudspeaker from Ostrich’s wild vagina and took it into a dark alley to teach it a lesson.
To Ostrich’s dismay, the vagina followed, giggling as it said, “I love it when a man in uniform takes control.”
Women were delighted to see groups of men standing on the sidewalks in support.
“It was so great to see men supporting us in our nighties and helping us to spread vagina peace and love,” Conservative said.
One man held a sign that read, “Yeah baby, I’ll take back your nightie anytime!”
What the marchers couldn’t see was that the men were using their penises as the beat off to the women in their long, flowing garbs.
“It takes a little imagination, but once you picture them without the nasty dreadlocks, the hideous piercings, the hairy pits and the beards, some of them are actually kinda hot,” said Cocky McFratboy, while taking a break from masturbating.
The event ended when a man sent WIN into a screaming, tribal frenzy by yelling, “You want an opinion! With a push-up bra, you could actually have a nice rack of lamb going on there!”

It’s from the April Fool’s Edition of the University of Western Ontario’s Gazette, the student run paper.

This is what I’m supposed to find funny in order to not be considered a “humourless feminist”? This?

Does it become more funny if you know the names they’re using are very similar to names of two major feminists on campus, one of whom suggested they stop making sexist and racist and homophobic commentary and claiming it as “funny”?

Oh, ha ha. I’m laughing. Yeah.

I think I’m going to pull the covers back over my head.

Right after I email the Gazette Editor-in-Chief, Ian Van Den Hurk at gazette.editor@uwo.ca, and equity services at equity@uwo.ca.

For more information, read the entire article.

[hat-tip to Juxta Feminist Cafe